Free Divorce, The Good and Bad Essay Sample
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Marriage is a union made for companionship, affection and love. Everybody entering into this union expects the best and not a frustrating one. The parties entering the union may see themselves very similar in temperament and attractive to each other. However, there are marriages which may turn out to miserable and not peaceful. The couple may find things going against their wishes and expectations, which may lead to disparity, sorrow hence unbearable. It will affect both parties, and it will make them lose hope in their marriage union. They then, become aware that they do not share anything in common; therefore, they cannot move on with that marriage.
Many cases of divorce are reported in many countries globally. Divorce is the act of breaking a marriage legally. It is a total extinction of a marriage including that of both families and even cancelling all the roles and household tasks that are undertaken in that marriage. It may also include supporting one's spouse, taking children's custody or responsibility and division of property acquired during the time of marriage (Alpern, 2000). Divorce is very stressful like any other major life problems since it affects both the victims their relatives and even the entire society. For a divorce to be successful, it should be legalized by the court or any other legal authority. The laws issued during divorce requisition vary depending on one's country.
There are six kinds of divorce, which are at-fault, no-fault, summary, uncontested, collaborative, mediated and electronic divorces. At-fault divorce, the person filing for a divorce must provide evidence or proof that his or her spouse has committed an act that is not desirable for a marriage and will not completely work out with the fault. However, at a no-fault divorce, does not require any evidence for the breakdown of marriage. It is just a matter of both parties concerned accept to divorce on another, and the court will do as they have requested. A summary divorce is given when the spouses agree on some issues such as; a short period of marriage and a marriage where bearing of children has not been successful. Both parties in the uncontested divorce the spouses come to a concurrence about children, property and any other support issues with or without a third party like the lawyers. So, they are supposed to negotiate on how to do it, with this concurrence, the divorce is approved. In contrary, if the spouses do not come to a concurrence, they may request the court to come up with a resolution on how to divide their properties and even their children's custody.
The parties are encouraged to make decisions according to their interests and necessities. They collaborate with the practitioners which may help improve the communication between the couple. A traditional divorce is alternated by a mediated divorce. An intermediary, for instance, attorney general or a divorce practitioner is called upon to discuss with the two parties, through communicating and giving information and suggestions, how to find solutions for their problems. Last but not the least is the electronic divorce. Here, the two parties may request for a no-fault and a collaborative divorce. With all of these types of divorce, the court is the one deciding whether the parties concerned should or should not divorce. The laws concerning the period the divorce should take before it becomes effective may vary depending on the state of affairs of the people involved.
There are many reasons that may lead couples to want to divorce. Some may be good reasons which are facts and can be proofed while others are not. Most commonly known reason for divorce, is when one of the parties has committed adultery, and the other does not want to move on again with that marriage (Riley, 1997). With this, the petitioner will have to give an account of the adultery committed, and the adulterous must admit that he was involved in such an act so that the divorce may be guaranteed. Showing irrational behavior such as physical violence and using an abusive language, may be another reason that leads a marriage to a divorce. There must be also an evidence to proof this irrational behavior such as having statements from friends. Separation for many years could lead to a divorce. The couple may have separated because of infidelity, differences physical violence and many other reasons. Another reason that may lead to a divorce is when one party has left the other one without giving a reason and with a plan of ending the entire relationship. Even childlessness may be another reason for divorce. In America, 66% of the total numbers of divorcees are childless.
The consequences of a divorce may be either positive or negative. The most expected feelings to be associated with divorce are regrets, grief, pains, pity, among others. On one hand, we shall discuss on the positive side of divorce and on the other its disadvantages. Divorce is a good and remedy measure which is normally given in order to improve the individuals concerned lives (Gold, 2009). This will enable the individual feel relaxed, free and even happy since they are out of a stressful marriage. When people engaged in the marriage, they never predicted that it will not work out and instead end in a total disaster. Marriage is normally associated with love, warmth, companionship and affection. Without these values, marriage is not worth living; instead, persons should seek somewhere they can feel the love and affection. The good of a divorce depends on the circumstances and situations of the parties involved.
Divorce gives a person an opportunity to start a new life. Here, a person will be more careful with the people to relate to as far as marriage is concerned. It is also associated with freedom and independence as a bachelor or a spinster. A person is can decide on one self's life and destiny without being influenced by anybody. One becomes own boss. The marriage may have deprived a person some of his or her rights of freedom and happiness, so, it is better coming out of it in order to live a better life that one desires since one will be no longer bound to the other divorcee.
For many individuals, a divorce marks a turning point in their lives. For once, they will be out of a miserable life. For instance, the children may feel assign of relief, especially, if there has been lots of quarrels and fighting amongst the parents.
Another benefit is to those who were in an abusive marriage where they were beaten. Divorce will help since they will never be hurt again and the children will live a better life. Sharing of properties as a result of divorce is an advantage, since the couple acquires equal portions hence, fairness (Chiriboga & Catron, 1991). Also, after a divorce a person may decide to start a new relationship with another one that he or she loves.
There are also the negatives associated with divorce. One will never reap the fruits of a marriage since marriage union is a blessing from God. It completely ends the marriage. The children are greatly affected by the total separation between their parents. They may feel guilty and wish they could do something to prevent the divorce. The children's emotions will change hence feel stressed, sad and frustrated. They may also feel a gap of one parent inside them. These emotional feelings may lead them to mental problems and attempt to commit or even commit suicide.
When filing for a divorce the parties need a lot of money. It may require the spouses to go deep into their pocket which may lead to lack of money at the long run. The statistics gives that the living standards of 40% of the women divorced will reduce while their emotional health will rise. Divorce also may hurt the parties involved so much since you will have to walk alone and have a rough time adapting to the new change. A person will think so much and even may do so many things out of a sense (Lichtenberger, 1999). It also reduces the living standard of the people since it was one family but now there are two families. There is no extra cash for living expenses. The budget will be a bit tight especially for the person who has taken the custody of children.
In the United States of America, research has shown that half of the total number of marriages has resulted to divorce. If such a trend continues, 40 per cent and even 50 percent of marriages will probably end up divorcing. 39 percent of the divorcees are of age less than 20 years while those of 20-24 years have the highest per cent of divorce (75.4). 25-29 years old, the divorce rate is 38.7 %, 21.1% for the age of 30-34 and 11.6 for the age of 35-39 years old.
Jennifer baker from a psychology institute gives a divorce rate for first, second and third marriage in America. She gives that first marriage has 41%, the second is 60%, and the third is 73%. This shows that the chances of divorce occurring at the later years of marriage are higher than the first and second marriage. For instance, in Florida, in the years 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999 and 2000 there were 9.2, 9.4, 6.3, 5.5, 5.1 and 5.1 respectively. This statistic shows that the rate has been decreasing over the years. The recent research from the associated press gives that in 2005, there was 3.6 per 1000 people divorce rate which is lower than 4.7 in 1990.