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A family friend is into online social networking websites such as Myspace.com, Facebook.com and even Twitter. Through these websites, she was able to befriend lots of people from different parts of the world and from all walks of like. But there is this particular guy that she used to chat with every single day. It started out when the guy sent her a message via her Myspace private messaging system. He said hi and she said hi back. From then on, they keep on exchanging messages every day. Then one day, the guy asked for her number. Without a doubt, she gave her number to him. She trusted her well enough to give him his number. She even defended her actions by telling everyone that he is a nice guy. Apparently, the guy has been nice to her. He sent her gifts and all throughout their online friendship, he has been good and not once that he has been rude. They have been chatting and talking for a month or two when they both agreed to meet up somewhere. So they met, had lunch and watched a movie. Then the guy offered to drive her home. She agreed. On the way home, the guy said that he forgot to bring his mother's birthday present and asked her if it is possible for them to drive by at his apartment so he can quickly grab the gift. She agreed without knowing that her life was about to change. In front of an abandoned house, he took a knife from the backseat and threatened to kill her if he will not do as he pleased. He took her inside the abandoned house and raped her. He made her do nasty things and violently hit her all over her body. She told her parents about what happened but they decided not to report the incident to the police. She is ashamed of what happened and told her parents that reporting the incident will just make things worse for her. She does not want to be the talk of the town.
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Dealing with the Situation
The family kept quiet about the incident and decided to move to another state to start a new life. However, things have never been easy for her. She started to develop anxiety. Because of what happened to her she became unattached to the outside world. By this it means that the she was observed to have become distant and most of the time filled with bitterness and pain. This is but just normal to any person to experience especially after a traumatic situation wherein you are raped and brutally attacked. She has a hard time making friends with other people especially new acquaintances. She started to create a world of her own where she only allows few people to enter. She has not been the loving person as she was before. She was field with pain and bitterness. Also, she no longer feels confident about herself. She feels so dirty and worthless (Terri, 2000). Hence, she has been striving to look beautiful by dressing up and wearing make-ups. She wants to look beautiful and desirable. She has been obsessed with her weight. She is not in any way overweight, but every time she looks in the mirror, she does not want what she sees. She started to develop an eating disorder known as bulimia nervosa. She would eat lots of food but feel guilty about it later and would binge. Her parents and friends are telling her that she is destroying her future and she would answer back that her future has already been ruined. All she wants is a happy life, to feel good about herself and to feel worthy to be loved. But every waking time is a disaster for her. The incident of that rape and brutal attack is keeping her face on the ground and she cannot move on. She blamed herself for everything that has happened to her.
Police officers revealed that many cases as the case at bar happened on a daily basis. But no one is reporting them especially for college girls. The case of our family friend is of no difference. The primary reasons why college girls do not report incidents are because of embarrassment and shame. They feel like the world would laugh at their misfortune and that they will be bullied in school. They fear that their situation will be public. Rape victims are not afraid that once people would know about what happened to them, they will not be accepted by the society. Either they will abhor them or will pity them. They do not want pity. They want sympathy. These rape victims do not want to be laughed at but rather be understood. However, this is not the reality for college girls. They are not accepted and worst than that is they are taught to just telling stories. With this, they just keep it to themselves, to their families, and most trusted friends. But then again, because of the lack of emotional outlet, they feel suppressed and frustrated. They start to feel low about themselves and hence, they resort to the extreme worlds of isolating themselves from the outside world or trying to fit in. Either way, it does not bring them any benefits (Courtois, 1988). By isolating themselves, they tend to become more anger and bitter. And by trying to fit in, they will do everything just to look good so the people around them would love them. It has to be remembered that the society has a different view as to what beauty is. The society perceived beauty as skinny, long legs and long hair. Most of the rape victims take this to the extreme. They would go on an unhealthy diet and develop eating disorders and all for the desire to feel worthy of themselves and to be accepted (Dinwiddie, 2000).
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