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The significance of family relations is paramount in our hearts and our minds.  It is, of course, about the experience one can get out of living and communicating with parents.  Moreover, suchlike way to maturation through parents' follow-ups is optimal to resolve all conundrums in life. This is especially seen in the essay by Chang-Rae Lee Coming Home Again. Family and gender are the themes to sort out an individual's inner problems and possible ability to go awry.  Obviously, Lee renders on his attitude toward family and his mother, in particular.  In this respect Lee's work complements prior short story by Judy Ruiz, because by setting priorities in your life, family should stay the most privileged in the list.

I usually ask myself where the heart of my decision making lies.  Most of all, I agree to the fact that my parents did most of the external influences on my consciousness.  Lee describes it through the sincere, cordial, and even irrelevant (quarrelsome) attitudes toward his mother.  The author seems to implement most of his adornment of mother, as her words and instructions sank into oblivion: "The meat needs the bone nearby," she said, "to borrow its richness" (DiYanni and Hoy 270).  In this episode I see the difference to what Ruiz describes in her short story.  Lee's mother treats her sole son philosophically in order to illustrate where the core of things is.

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The thing is that, in Ruiz's story, the narrator's brother always complained for being usually misunderstood and loved less than his sister was by their father (DiYanni and Hoy 229).  Love was not shared in the family initially. Perhaps, it was a start for her brother to think of himself, as a sister, thereafter.  Is it so that I am keeping track of what I do right or wrong due to what my parents taught me since the childhood?  Is it because of my parents that I usually feel like life is wonderful and I am a very happy person on earth in spite of everything around? 

Chang-Rae Lee has shown me the same things I tried to imitate from my mother.  Culinary is now considered as my forte.  Hence, I see my mother's major role in what I have at my disposal now.  Not only mother, but my father has also brought in his mite in my development, as a person.  It is not about material amenities, it is about human values: love, responsibility, patriotic attitudes, orderliness, urge for education, hatred to stupid deeds, etc.   The author writes on his feelings and ability to get mother's intentions in the following way: "My mother could say no to me, and did often enough, but anyone who knew us-particularly my father and sister-could tell how much the denying pained her" (DiYanni and Hoy 271).  Warm and human attitudes give birth to mutual understanding and further strengthening within the family.

What I can get out of the story by Lee is that communication with and respect for parents are supposed to be cornerstone for children's rational and happy life.  Typically, there is nothing bad in what parents might advise you.  They solely need your attention all the time you do your first steps toward successful life.  However, the author paid more attention to the way he experienced every minute of being together with mother and longing for knowing her intentions better.  Moreover, now that I have delved into the heart of Coming Home Again, I see that Ruiz story is sadder due to parents' inability to explain and, possibly, direct their son toward getting the truth of living mentally (rationally), as it is described in Lee's story.  Finally, I would better spend more time with my family while being in need or in despair, than to solve my problems alone doing plenty of mistakes.

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