All papers are checked via
|← Puente Viejo||On Pornography by Gore Vidal →|
1. Facing Empty Chairs: A Season of Grief and Joy
This article attracted my attention, because it discussed about the pain, grief and pressure of losing a loved one. It started by introducing the condition of a young woman, Rosie, who lost her husband, Simon, a few years ago. The reader can see how she could manage the back flashes of her husband`s death. It states that social gatherings for celebrating holidays are the greatest source of reminders of such previous grieves. Friends and family members would offer deceiving closure and comfort during such gatherings. It further advices that one should be allowed to fully mourn and grief at the passing away one their loved, or else they shall continue having those memories.
From the article, I have learnt that being close to friends after death of a loved one will only offer temporal relief from the grief. Zonnebelt-Smeenge & Vries recommend that a person should be given enough time to fully mourn (Zonnebelt-Smeenge & Vries, 2006). During holiday gathering, there should be less discussion over the issue, since this would act as a reminder of the past.
According to my point of view, the topic is well timed as people are preparing for the Christmas holiday. They should avoid conditions or settings that would reignite memories of those, who lost their loved ones. Instead, such people should be given comfort and psychology preparation prior to the gatherings. The affected person should be asked whether he/she would or would not like to discuss matters relating to those, who have passed away. This would ensure that their emotions are not inferred with during the holiday gatherings, and consequently, would enable them to fully enjoy the season.
2. Violence in Divorce: Towards Safety
This article was of interest to me, because in the recent past, there have been an increasing number of divorce cases that almost surpass the number of newly-wed marriages. Divorce has become a part of our daily lives and hence we cannot escape from it. This article has discussed in details how to deal with stress, revenge and hostility after divorce. It is evident that some divorcees may experience extreme post-divorce hostility and violence from their former partners. This would result in insecurity and lack of safety to the endangered partner. It has also discussed the possible sources and causes of such threats and hostilities. According to the article, stress resulting from the divorce is the major contributor of these threats. One of the couples would not be able to handle the stress, associated with divorce, and thus, would attempt to revenge, mistreat or abuse the other partner. Post divorce hostility may also result from psychotic conditions. Similarly, if the partner was a drug addict, he/she may as well over-react under the influence of drugs. It also lays down various possible signs of unsafe behaviors after a divorce. Some of these signs include extreme violence towards the other partner, attempts to exercise control over the life of the rejected partner and abusive acts towards other members of the family, especially children (Stahl, 2007).
From this article, I have learnt the various causes of hostility after divorce. I have acquired necessarily knowledge on how to deal with post-divorce stress. It has acquainted the reader with appropriate actions to take, incase he/she senses insecurity or becomes unsafe after a divorce.
From my point of view, post-divorce violence is an issue that most victims don’t know how to handle or manage. Most couples, who have separated, usually lack the ability to deal with such threats, and hence would suffer silently in the darkness. It is, therefore, important that one should be able to foresee, recognize and identify any intolerable behavior depicted by a former partner. This would enable him/her take appropriate mitigation measures against possible future violence and threats.
Are Fat Women Sexual Targets? Exposing the Practice of Hogging.
The issue of fat women having low self-esteem and consequently poor sexual experiences has been widely discussed by the media and the society as a whole. Most obese women are believed to wear big clothes in attempts to hide their huge sizes, and hence attract attention of more men. This feeling of low self-esteems and lack of sexual desire shown by fat women has led to emergence of hogging. This refers to the practice of certain men targeting and being highly attracted to obese women, mainly for sexual encounters. This is what attracted me to read further this article.
From the article, I have learnt how some men are taking advantage of fat women due to their low self-appreciation, and misuse them to fulfill their sexual drives. The article warns that all human beings should show love, respect and high esteem to their own bodies. They should be very cautious with men, who pretend to love, yet want to misuse them. I have learnt that it is important for every individual to develop high self-esteem and confidence in them, despite their physical attributes and appearances. Carroll warns that men, on the other hand, should avoid this habit of taking advantage of obese women in pretence of love (Carroll, 2007).
From my point of view, the article is educative enough and has blown the whistle against mistreat and abuse that fat women experience in relationships. The media, governments, social groups and human rights organizations should continue spreading the fight against discrimination of fat women in relations. They are human beings and, therefore, deserve equal treatment just as other ladies.
4. How often do Men and Women Think about Sex?
Thoughts are the main determinants of actions. Generally, thoughts will solidify into habits and eventually develop into character. This relation between thoughts and character is what drove me to read this article that discussed the variations in how often men and women think about sex. Frequent thinking about sex would depict itself in increased sexual activity. It is interestingly claim that most men think about sex approximately eight hundred thousand times a day. However, this claim has not been backed up by any solid research findings (Carroll, 2007). This drawback of the claim is what drove the writer to research on variations on frequency of sex thoughts between men and women, using college students as the participants. From the findings, it was evident that there was lesser difference in sex thoughts frequencies between men and women. Statistical tests from research data revealed that women had a mean of 9.9, while their male counterparts had a mean 18.6, almost double that of women. When research on thoughts on other item, such as food and sleeping was carried out, men showed a similar variation against the females. From these findings, I can, therefore, conclude that both men and women think almost equally on sex, the difference is only that men tend to think more frequently on issues, such as food, sex and sleep, but at a higher degree than women.
From this article, I have learned that men think more frequently on general aspects of life than women. Their thoughts are, therefore, not directed towards particular issues, such as sex or food. In my opinion, this assertion is true, because there is no solid reason to support the notion that men think more often about sex than women. Similarly, from the assumption of linear relationship between thoughts and behaviors, men would be expected to exhibit extra ordinary sexual characters than the females, if they would be thinking about it more frequently.
5. How to Soulfully Give and Receive
In general, it is expected that we show our love and care to others by giving them presents and gifts. These people may be our relatives, friends or sometimes even strangers. The challenging aspect of this, however, is the best manner to present such a gift. It is this issue that interested me in the article. I wanted to learn more on how to give gifts soulfully and heartily.
According to Jamal and Mckinnon, presenting a gift to somebody is like transferring energy to them, the energy of love and care. Giving transfers the energy of togetherness, whereas receiving creates an awareness of love (Jamal & Mckinnon, 2007). The act of giving impacts solemn power into the receiver.
From the article, I have learned that giving has a great impact on the relationships between us and other people. Stephen Post further illustrates this by concluding that giving soulfully depicts our emotional and spiritual closeness to these people (Post, 2011). I can, thus, conclude that by giving, we build strong bonds in our relationships.
6. How effective is your Marriage Therapy?
This article was of great interest to me, because most marriages today are shaky and faced with various problems. Most couples will, thus, resolve to seek marriage therapies to genuinely help them solve such marital problems. In contrast to their expectations, such therapies never provide any feasible long-term solutions to their marriage troubles (Hecker & Wetchler, 2003).
From the article, I have leant that it is important to critically evaluate individual characters, goals and motives, when a problem arises in marriage, rather seeking therapy services. If for any reason, the change that would be needed in the marriage should be initiated by the spouses themselves, and not an external character. The best way to do this, as Hecker and Wetchler recommend, is to hold an open communication or discussion, and have a positive view towards the problems (Hecker & Wetchler, 2003).
In my opinion, it is essential that couples communicate freely with each other and should be able to express love in everything they do. They should remain optimistic always whenever a problem knocks. Love and effective communication are the pillars of a successful marriage.